Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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