no. you can't hotbox the world.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
