thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
wrigley field is MILF paradise
you would pick up someone in the library
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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