There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Randomize
