no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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