ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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