do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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