so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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