Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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