I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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