You're a womanizer and a bitch.
another moral hangover. fuck.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
