If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
either way he was missing a nipple.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
