Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
pop tarts are not kleenex
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
