Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
