I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
