I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We have started to decorate penises.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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