i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
