please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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