I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
