Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
