You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
