i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Couch. On fire.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
