what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
