you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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