Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
