please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
