is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
