So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You are the jesus of drinking
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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