IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
