I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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