I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
