they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
