I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
