i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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