I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
