Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize