i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
