You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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