I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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