then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
