I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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