I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Text me some of your sweat
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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