i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
