I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
