get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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