did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize