Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
