Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
