So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We have started to decorate penises.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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