I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
