it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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