i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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