I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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