its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i drank out of a bidet.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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