Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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