just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
