I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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