i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize