someone owes me an orgasm
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
