I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
