He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
